I think dads​ everywhere can agree with me when I say:

Being a father in today’s world is more stressful than ever.

Here’s the deal, though:

As it turns out, there’s something about parenting that no one ever really tells you…

…a vital, little tid-bit of advice that gets censored by the loud world we live in.

Today, I want to share it with you.

Modern Day Dad Hats

Before I do that, though, I’d like to look at where we stand…

Just a couple of decades ago, our paternal role was very different.

I’ve recently turned my kids on to the show ‘Boy Meets World.’ Call me nostalgic. I’d say you’re probably right. Maybe it’s based on my opinion about the current selection of kids programming. Either way, it’s a good example of what a dad used to be.

Our responsibilities consisted of:

  • Breadwinner
  • Landscaper
  • Handyman
  • Disciplinarian

All in all, I’d say we actually had it pretty good.

Get up, go to work, come home to a hot meal, mow the yard once a week… Beyond that, mom stepped in.

What more could you ask for?

As with everything else, though, change is inevitable. The world isn’t going to stop for anyone. So now – only a generation or two later – we’ve (in many cases) kept those duties and added some new ones.

Our new titles include things such as:

  • Mealtime chef
  • Playtime coordinator
  • Midnight baby whisperer

Depending on your personal circumstances, your own list may look different. Regardless, it’s probably longer than your old man’s was.

21st Century Dads Are Pioneers

That last statement leads me into my next point:

Our lives are often completely different than those of our own fathers.

Pops used to be a bank of life’s knowledge. In some ways, he still is. But the newly added responsibilty is forcing us to figure out our place in the family. We face situations that have no historical reference.

That’s something that isn’t always easy.

The way society is evolving, I’m inclined to say it’s actually a daunting task.

Nowadays, Dad spends his time running the household on Saturday – or whatever day he has off. He might do the grocery shopping, or the cooking and cleaning. He may take the kids to appointments with the doctor.

All in addition to the former 9 to 5 grind.

Let me stop for a second and give due recognition.

Mom’s role is changing as well. Society is breaking the mold of expectations for everyone. Moreso out of necessity than anything. That’s the real reason that dads are becoming more involved in new ways.

So let’s not get too lofty in our thinking here.

To sum things up:

Modern day fathers are blazing the trail for those to come.

You’re Doing Way Better Than You Think

So there it is…

The secret of parenthood – the most reassuring statement a parent could hear. The key to a solid parenting mindset.

Not really? Big whoop, you say?

Think about this:

Everyday, we’re surrounded by opinions. Opinions on the best work-life balance. Opinions on how to properly discipline your kids. Opinions on whether you should vaccinate your children.

These opinions tend to surface as seemingly personal feedback. Feedback on how you’re doing as a parent. The worst part?

The loudest opinions are always the negative ones.

It’s just how it is.

So, in a world of negativity, I want to get loud on a more positive note.

Forget about what everyone else is saying. Forget what I’m saying if you don’t agree. I just wanted to make sure you to heard it from somewhere.

Because it’s real, and it’s something I definitely dealt with.

The reality, though, is this:

You are the only one who can possibly know what is best for you and your family. So don’t sweat all the small stuff that comes up along the way. Tune out all of the noise.

Just remember:

You’re doing way better than you think.

Derek Holder on Twitter
Derek Holder
Husband to my childhood sweetheart. Father of three - 2, 6 and 9. Metaphysically wrinkle-free.